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Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Hell in a Cell: I Don't have Enough Vomit For This


The Good

Dolph Ziggler v. Cesaro


Listen if you want to see a solid match by two great workers in the ring look no further then Cesaro and Dolph Ziggler's Two out of Three falls match. It was the best match for pure mat wrestling of the night. While I am mighty surprised that Ziggler got back to back pin-falls, it was a minor worry about Cesaro's chances at this point. The Intercontinental title is starting to get some polish again with a fighting champion and a rivalry across nations(more on that in a bit.)


Dean Ambrose v. Seth Rollins

Before certain events Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins was going to be one for the books, maybe not the best part of the books but it felt like an actual hell in a cell match. Top of the cage, and all that business. Double table spot was nice and having more then just a TLC match with a cage brought the two characters to life showing the level of tortuous extremes...but then something happened that will be discussed later.

Rhodes Boys vs Uso

The Tag match of the Dust in the Wind and Usos was the tag match we have seen for the last 6 months. WWE again is not giving a good goddamn about this division. If you want to disagree, watch TNA Impacts Round Robin tourney. I just want Cody Rhodes back, the son of the son of the plumber is much better used as a technical wrestler with panache. His Elder Brother has the weird settled, we know that character and persona. Dusty Rhodes must have literally pissed in Vince's Cheerio's is all I am saying.


The Bad


The Miz vs. Seamus

Look I hate the Miz as a character. But this was a decent match for the two characters but comedy is hard for the WWE, but Sandow is the person. The match was meh and all that goodness. Sandow needs to be his own man and The Miz needs to go back making straight to DVD flicks.

Mark Henry v. Bo Dallas

Time thirty-six seconds, this match was just a waste, yes they are now establishing whiny petulant bo. But using the world's strongest man is just a damned waste used to be big men had big matches. Mind you with the upcoming heel turn(again, now confirmed on Raw). Comedy is timing and WWE's watch is broke is all I am going to say.


Rusev vs Big Show

Look my favorite Rocky Movie was number 4, great soundtrack, great lines, a great film for the 80's. WWE this is the 10's of the next damn century. It was nice to see Show do some submission moves and get the Bulgarian brute almost tapping. But the seriously this crap was done better by Iron Sheik. That is all.

AJ Lee vs Paige


Paige was my diva, it was nice to see a fighter come in and prove her worth in the ring. But now, bless their hearts, WWE decided to make her into a Total Failure. I will say this, at least the two best workers fight for the belt. But good god I know some women fighters, and they would make matches so brutal it would be ECW chants all over the place. This was a non-starter and old as hell.

The Ugly


Bella twins

IT FUCKING was the worst thing other then our coyote ugly below I have seen, god I am so tired of this total crap show soap opera bullshit. Jesus Christ make them fucking valets and let us actually see WOMEN who can fight. Who can duke it out and prove who is the baddest of them all?




John Cena versus Randy Orton number (over nine thousand!)


I am an Orton Fan full disclosure. He is fast, crazy and willing to do the awesome. So this was a painful experience. Cena wins after losing to Ambrose, by getting (AGAIN!!!) a title shot. Man should just take a 5 year break then get the record if they want to get some action from this. Vince must be getting even more senile with this crap.

I could go on with my thoughts but incoherent gibbering is not easy to type. For truth, this is the goddamned craptasitic wonder-fuck. Vomit is wasted on this crap.


UP NEXT...The:What The Fuck


Look the guys that got me back to watching the WWE was The Shield and the Wyatt Family. Shield is done, and the Wyatts got the Cena treatment at Payback. So here comes the Bray, with a decent spooky entrance to get the retread. Kane coming up, hell rising and all that.

But timing is everything, and at the end of a solid Main Event is not the time for this shit.

Final Thoughts

I was not drunk enough for the show...that is all.

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